I Finally Have It All Figured Out...

So have any of you heard of this "Southbeach Diet" thing? Apparently it's all the rage. Well the missus and I decided to give it a go, just for the fun of it (and maybe a few medical concerns, but that's none of your cotton-pickin' business, now is it?). Well it worked. We did it for 2 weeks before Thanksgiving and I lost 22lbs in that 2 week period. {Huzzah. Huzzah} I always get the genie from Aladdin singing "Hail, the conquering hero! BRRR BRR BUDDA BAH BUDDA BAH, buddabuh boppa doo" whenever I get all narcissistic like this.

Of course, I was starting from 252 lbs at 6'3", so I had plenty of room for improvement. And now I have plenty of room (wait for it) IN MY PANTS! (no, that was not an invitation. You know, if I'm not careful with these asides, this whole post could be in parentheses. Wouldn't that be funny? Writing a couple of sentences about one topic, and then spending the rest of the post commenting on those things I was writing about and the styles I was writing them in. {sigh} That'd be a hoot. Anywho.... Oh right) But we went on hiatus for the holidays and of course I gained back about 10 of those el bees, so we decided to give it another go (heh, heh, I-oh nevermind) after the new year got going.

Well, I haven't been quite as successful this time around. Maybe it's destiny for me to be this weight, but I lost those pounds I gained back during the Christmas break, and NOT ONE OUNCE MORE. I emphasize that not only to wake you with my shouting if you had started to doze off, but also cuz it sucks. Dieting is only fun when it's working. I'm so not one of those people you can tell, "give it a few weeks, you'll start to see results". Homie don't play dat. So I quit. The diet is in phases and this one is supposed to last until Sunday, but I went ahead and got some fast food last night. It was good too. What's worse is instead of the strong, supportive wife telling me,"No, we really need to stick with this. It's just a few more days." I got, "I could go for some pizza. Can we get pizza?" We got Taco Bell instead.

But at least I've started working out. I did 30 minutes on my elliptical trainer last night. And that really sucked. What I've figured out (and the title of this post, only 87 paragraphs in, way to drag it out) is that something in your life has to suck. There can't always be rainbows and sunshines and lollipops. If you don't make something suck, life will start sucking all on its own. Better you take the bull by the horns and at least get to choose the sucky parts. Now this is a risky choice, since there's always the chance that life's gonna just go right ahead and suck anyway, but I feel like the odds are greatly reduced if you're running the show.

This could be for a number of reasons. You need the bad to appreciate the good, everything must be in balance, Earl Hickey's Karma talk, whatever. But it's true. Sure some people have it better than others, and others don't necessarily see how bad some have it since others are on the other side of the fence thinking that some are just fat and happy when in fact some aren't all that happy and are wishing they had it as good as others do. And I think i need to lie down.

So what does it all mean? I'm getting back in shape! Yay me! I give it a month.