Curse You, Aqua Scum!!!

So if you hadn't already guessed it, I'm LDS, aka Mormon. Yeah yeah, I know, big surprise. I didn't say it before now because I didn't want this to be yet another Mormon blog, or worse yet another Mormon subversive blog. Maybe subversive is too strong a word, but you know those blogs where the writer's intent is to show just how off the beaten path they are, how non-conformist they are, or whatever.

Well I'm coming out to address something that has been bothering me. I've noticed that despite a moratorium on all things vulgar from anyone over the age of 17, there seems to be a pervasive need to hold on to the more truculent version of the word "urine".

Now I wasn't raised in the church, but the house I was raised in was extremely religious, and that word was just as acceptable as any other reference to excrement or where such excrement came from (how is it I always seem to manage to bring it back around to poop? I swear I'm not doing it on purpose). At the time (and even now) it didn’t particularly bother me, it just stands out as a holdover from the days when such putrescence would spill from my mouth like the cargo from one of Exxon's many dubiously piloted tankers.

Now there were worse words. The taking of the Lord's name in vain, coupled with beaver-related building, would get you smacked across the room. Also any attempt to discuss copulation in anything short of scientific terms would be the quickest route to a sore backside.

The beaver building by itself, donkey-related chats, dog talk (mainly female), or words to describe body parts that weren't often used to describe body parts would get you a stern talking to or maybe a smack just out of a need for consistency, but I feel like they weren't necessarily on the watchlist quite the way the others were. Honestly all the rest were in a happy little cesspool of depravity, hovering just above your sucks and crap, etc.

Of course I’ve made the argument and will continue to do so that any word said in anger is just as bad as another. It’s the intent that the word expresses that is foul, not the word itself. Just as I can dam a bridge, Joseph could lead the ass carrying Mary, and I don’t want to go to hell when I die, those words when said as an expletive would be strictly forbidden from or around my children. By the same token if they said “FUDGE ME” or “GO TO HECK” or “THAS SOME BULL SHIZZ” I will be just as quick to punish them as if they’d said the word they were attempting to subvert. Many of my friends and family do this constantly and then claim they don’t curse, but I don’t really see the difference.