Random

I wish I knew how to beat-box.

If I'm going to start talking about my kids on here, I'm going to have to come up with an alliterative male equivalent of a Mormon Mommy Blogger. Divine Daddy Blogger seems too pretentious.

I have no idea how to raise girls. I think I'm just going to teach them football, fishing, and shooting guns and see how they do in the world.

I need to get a bigger car. I currently have a Saturn that my family fits in, but just barely. When we go to visit people, anything we take with us has to go on my wife's lap. I think I want something with a third row, but beyond that I'm open to anything. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I think I want to start a garden. I used to help my grandmother with her flower garden and giggle when she would talk about planting pansies. That was always fun. I'll have grow something more manly of course. And not tell any more stories about me giggling.

Should I get an iPhone? I enjoy playing games on my wife's, and always having the internet available is convenient, but it seems like wherever I go there's internet available (work, home, school, etc.). Is it really that much more convenient?

Telephonic Invasion

So I was working late yesterday when I got a phone call. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was my wife, so I answered it. After getting no response, I gave a more forceful "Hello?", to which I heard my daughter's voice pipe up with a cheerful "Hi Daddy!" Now this is not an uncommon occurrence. On a regular basis my daughter will want to talk to daddy and asks my wife to contact me for her. The missus dials me up and then puts the baby on, listening to what I say and prompting the appropriate responses.

So I played along, as I usually do. There were 2 things odd about it this time, however. First, her answers were coming much more rapidly than normal. The pause of listening to her mother's prodding was all but eliminated. Second, the conversation was lasting a lot longer than it usually does. We talked about her day, how the new baby was doing, and the general well being of the household.

Finally I asked her to put her mommy on the phone. After an extended pause I heard my wife's surprised exclamation asking why my little girl had mommy's phone. It turns out my 2 year old had unlocked the iPhone, called my number, and had a rather lengthy conversation all on her own. Apparently she had made her usual request to call daddy, but my wife had been busy right then and told her to wait. Which she didn't.

I'm not sure if I should be proud of her mastery of technology or terrified of the implications this has for her future telephone usage.

Something Something Airplane Food

I'm a dad again! Another beautiful little girl. Everyone says she's beautiful (and I agree), but in the same breath they say she looks just like me. So which is it? Cuz you can't have both. I've told that joke so many times it's lost all its funny. It had some, honest.

I've agreed to go for child number 3, but if that one is a girl too then I'm done. I'm not willing to risk having 4 daughters. I don't think I could handle it. I'm fairly certain I'll struggle with 2. The fact of the matter is if they turn out looking at all like their mother, I won't have adequate ammunition to fend off the suitors of 4 young women.

What's funny about all this is that I was told that having daughters was God's way of punishing you for any inappropriate things you did during your dating years. I used to believe it too because I knew some real scoundrels in the military who fully deserved the gaggle of girls they were blessed with. The only problem is how it applies to my situation. I barely dated. I didn't even have the opportunity for inappropriateness. So I'm no longer sure how accurate that is.

We are lucky in one regard. We went to the doctor on Valentine's day to find out the missus was at a 2-3, and his offer to induce was quickly accepted. Fortunately he couldn't do it until the next day, when my daughter was ultimately born. This is lucky because in 25 years when she does have a boyfriend, he won't be able to give her one gift and claim it for both Valentine's day and her birthday.

This is the stand-up routine my sleep deprived mind came up with over the last week. Beside all that, I'm back in school. I finished up the ol' Associate's Degree (is there an apostrophe there? Associates Degree doesn't seem right.) and have moved on to the big time university. I decided to go with the night classes because ultimately I want a Master MBA and every MBA program in the area said they didn't care where I got my undergrad stuff done as long as I had the GPA. So I took the easy way.

And now the bad news: The diet got away from me. I blame meals brought to my house. Thanks to the kindness of ward members, I have almost gained as much as my wife lost giving birth. Not quite the accomplishment I was going for. Well, I guess I will have to get back on it. Just as soon as we finish all the leftovers.